draelogor:

lotrlockedwhovian:

viivus:

period thoughts

that would make the funniest fucking story ever. Due to a mix up at the factory, the template for incantations that was supposed to a publishing company of dark art books is sent to a feminine products factory. Girl then accidentally summons Satan with period blood. Satan gets confused because its “dead blood” and when he shows up he realizes the sacrifice was done incorrectly so he cannot take the girl’s soul but now is bound to do her bidding because oops his bad, he showed up anyway.

PLEASE

thirstiest:

nentindo:

hokeyfright:

can the science side of tumblr explain this

image

swag • per • a • tion /swaəgpərashion/

adj. To channel the swagger inside of you and turn it into pure teleportation energy.

i.e. “dude, this party blows, i’m swagperating out of here”

this person wrote a noun, listed it as an adjective, and defined and used it as a verb

15 hours ago · 141,687 notes

morticia-lovett:

gERARD NO.
voiceofnature:

So I dyed my cats pink with leftover beet water. No regrets! <3 :D I had to wash them because of some oil spill they had gotten into, and chose to use the beet water, which is perfectly safe. I had no idea it would really make them this pink.

cyberuser:

cyberuser:

vvankinq:

cyberuser:

what do you call a message sent by a girl?

*sighs* what

a feMAIL

i got 7 messages saying this joke is offensive & that i’m the reason feminism exists

15 hours ago · 66,450 notes

donkos:

reading a foreign language: yeah
writing in a foreign language: ok
listening to a foreign language: wait
speaking in a foreign language: fuck

15 hours ago · 79,191 notes

kalikardashian:

thelilnan:

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

OKAY

AJAX SOAP

image

THEIR SLOGAN IS “STRONGER THAN GREASE”

AND I WAS LIKE OKAY YEAH MAKES SENSE FOR A DISH SOAP- WAIT

AJAX WAS A GREEK SOLDIER RENOWNED FOR HIS STRENGTH

AJAX IS STRONGER THAN ALL OF GREECE

someone who worked at ajax has literally waited 66 years for you to get this

15 hours ago · 435,468 notes

h0odrich:

'hey whats up?'

'your time talking to me' 

image

15 hours ago · 145,425 notes

prolusion:

i’m ugly but i want a hot boyfriend do you see my problem

15 hours ago · 74,152 notes